You put her in underwear, she goes in her pants.
"Oops," she says. "Can I go watch tv now?"
You see what I'm dealing with.
Trust me, I've tried rewards, bribes, cold turkey, positive reinforcement, yelling, etc. She JUST DOESN'T CARE. But the fact of the matter is, we're going on vacation this summer, and there is a kids program at the resort, and I would love to be able to take both the kids to it so my husband and I can have some one-on-one time together, but they only accept kids who are potty trained. Therefore, I don't care what it takes or if she cares or not- she WILL be potty trained. My strategy this week is to just be consistent and do NOT, under ANY circumstances, give up. I don't care if I have to take her every hour on the hour, I will be vigilant and just make her do it. Maybe after a few weeks of it it'll be enough of a habit that she'll get it. Let's pray.
Anyway, so this morning I was checking my e-mail and Princess was in Big Brother's room playing, when she came in to see me. I smelled something funky. I felt her bottom. Definitely a lump.
"Are you stinky?"
And off we marched to the bathroom to remove the soiled pull-up (I know, I know, so many of you are against pull-ups, but I've tried straight underwear and the results are the same- wet and poopy accidents whether I like it or not- so I use the pull-ups. I'm pregnant and I'm tired, and I just don't have the patience for the underwear. We're taking this in steps, people.). I got it off of her and used some flushable wipes to clean up the, uh, "residue". And so Princess promptly lost her balance (I'm pretty sure she was trying to reach for my contacts lens case on the bathroom counter- she's fascinated by my contacts) and knocked the package of wipes into the toilet (which, by the way, contained the soiled wipes and most of the contents of that pull-up).
Luckily, the wipes package landed bottom-down in the toilet, and, being that it is encased in plastic, it floated. I quickly pulled it out and tossed it into the sink, where I washed it with soap and water. I (through gritted teeth) told Princess to sit on the potty until I was done. She did, feeling slightly ashamed about causing such a ruckus (at last! Remorse!!) and did so.
Well, I got her all cleaned up and on her way, then decided to take out the trash, since I had to remove the stinky pull-up anyway. I got a large garbage bag from downstairs and started in the master bathroom, then moved to the kids' bathroom and Princess's bedroom. As I was dumping the contents of her trash can- very heavy wet diapers- the side of the bag dropped down and everything tumbled out onto the floor. I sighed heavily, and reached down to start putting it all back in. I Lysol-ed the trash can (and my hands) and started to lift the bag back toward the door to go to the next room, when the weight of the bag was more than I expected and it got caught on part of Princess's dresser, tearing a large hole in the bottom.
I put the bag down, threw my hands up in the air and said, "SERIOUSLY? ARE YOU SERIOUS? CAN ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN RIGHT NOW?? SERIOUSLY!!!!!!"
I finagled the bag into a position such that everything would not come spilling out and managed to wrangle it out to the trash can by the garage. Then I came in and washed my hands about 10 times.
It's just gonna be one of those days.